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The Finest Fanfiction This Side of the Mississippi

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"I'm sorry we made you cry, Draco. I really didn't mean to." [17 Jun 2004|03:20pm]

psychicmongoose
Friendship Ice Cream, a mercifully brief offering from Inspector-Jarvert, tells the poignant tale of five Hogwarts students overcoming their differences and falling in love over dessert. Written in dialogue.
4 quality fanfics| is it really quality?

The qualityfanfic Procrastination Special [03 May 2004|08:56pm]

prismtrick
I've been terribly disappointed in everyone else's complete sluggishness re: finding delectable new morsels of fanfiction. I do hope that you are at least reading the luscious creations I have scrounged for until my eyeballs bled. They are well worth it.

After that bit of tut-tutting, I have a special present for you! In need of something to help you procrastinate? Here are three (3!) special fics for you to have and to hold from this day forward.

1. First, we have "Daughter of a Legend," a Hidalgo fic. Yes, fanfiction.net is full of surprises, and this AU about Frank's daughter is one of them. It's short and snappy, but what really makes the story is the narrator's attempted Southern accent.

Howdy, ya’ll, my name’s Cassie Hopkins. I grew up with my mom and daddy in the States, but mom’s from Arabia. She’s kind of a princess, actually. My daddy’s a cowboy from South Dakota. How’d they meet? Well, I think it’s kind of romantic (usually I hate that kind of stuff, bein’ a tomboy and all).

2. If you don't enjoy horses and painful dialect, try something ten times more excruciating -- "The many problems of the one they call Will Turner". In script form and twenty-one arduous chapters long, I have read only the first five lines of the story and intend to go no further.

Aragon:*babbles insults and rambles as he is dragged out the door and kicked down 43 flights of stairs by Security (aka Agent Smith and Elrond)
Me- ..Stupid Aragon...thinks he so great...well...we'll still see if he thinks he's still so great, by putting him the middle of a new Murder surrounded by rocs and Frodos. He fears Frodos..
Jack- interesting...*drinks more Rum*


An attempt at humorous crossovers gone horribly, horribly wrong.

3. Our final story is a Hornblower fic entitled "Dying Embers". It tries, o! it tries, and yet it flounders like a newborn babe thrown into a lake to learn to swim all alone. If that nauseating simile hasn't interested you, then just read it for the stilted speech. The best part is the ending, but I wouldn't want to give anything away, so here is the opening instead:

A tall, thin and dark-haired Englishman (Horatio Hornblower, if you haven't guessed), stood staring into the flames of a fire in a poky sitting room of a Kingston inn. The fire, of course, was not necessary for it was a hot Jamaican summer and the chattering of tropical birdsong could be heard through the bolted shutters. The day before Horatio's dearest friend had died.

It gets right to the point, and doesn't even stop along the way to make the assumption that the reader might have a brain! How darling.
2 quality fanfics| is it really quality?

"I couldn't sleep, that all." [27 Apr 2004|09:31pm]

prismtrick
If you've ever seen the inspiring boys' school movie Dead Poets Society, then you must check out "Foolish Games" at once! The author warns at the beginning that this story is "unbeated," but the beautiful messages still manage to force their way through a tangled web of grammatical errors.

Sadly, it is a fairly short (and unfinished) read. Here is a gleaming gem extracted from amongst the slippery tense changes. Hopefully, it will entice you to delve further into the masterful work and lobby for a continuation of "Foolish Games."

"Pretend I'm Neil Todd. Tell me what you wanted to tell him and touch me the way you wanted to touch him." He pleads and I look into his eyes. That was a mistake though because as soon as I did I was lost.
is it really quality?

"...and then they were just holding each other for dear, like lost children." [15 Apr 2004|06:51pm]

prismtrick
"The Great Unknown" is a Velvet Goldmine AU fic about Curt and Arthur's apparently unbearably saccharine relationship. Curt writes beautiful songs, Arthur discovers he has a hidden talent for singing them, and I haven't really read much more than that yet. But I will. Oh, I will.

From "Chapter One: Insatiable":

"Aww, no fair Curt! You know that song makes me go red!"

"And that is why I love it."

"I can't believe you actually wrote a song about our *sex life*."

"Well it was a hit wasn't it?"

"That is not the point."
2 quality fanfics| is it really quality?

"Joey: well I also agree with Stephanie all the way." [09 Apr 2004|01:19pm]

prismtrick
"The Great Depression" is a tireless and brilliant attempt at scripting an episode of "Full House." Yes, I too was unaware of the "Full House" fandom until fanfiction.net showed me the light. But now I can read magnificent little stories like this one whenever early-nineties-nostalgia strikes.

B: Alex go play with Nicky
A: Ok let’s go brother
B: Ok jess we have been fighting forever and I think we should get
separated.
J: You read my mind Miss. Donaldson
B: We will have to file the papers.
J: Ok we will
is it really quality?

 “May I have thee ladies hand?” Harry asked poetically. [06 Apr 2004|10:12am]

prismtrick
Today's celebratory offering is a darling little Harry/Hermione fic called, simply, "Love Can Never Be Lost". In only four short chapters, we travel with Harry and Hermione through a less-than-tumultuous relationship to what has to be the most romantic ending line I have ever encountered.

From "Chapter Two: Less of an Ending Than She Wanted":

 “Waiter?” Harry called. “Bring me your finest white wine.” Harry whispered into his ear.

“That will be twenty dollars, sir.” Harry handed the waiter his money and within no time, there was the finest wine on the table.

‘ WOW! He can afford anything.’ Hermione thought.
5 quality fanfics| is it really quality?

“Mad, this is mad! All that has been happening is mad!” [03 Apr 2004|06:10pm]

prismtrick
[ mood | determined ]

It's too bad that this community has lapsed into utter despair. In fact, it needs a jolt of action! It needs new life! It needs more quality fanfiction!

"Catching Love in an Hourglass" is the fic that will jumpstart this community back to the creeping snail's pace it once operated at. It's a delightful Horatio Hornblower AU by "MovieDreamer," set in a modern-day and somewhat unrecognizable New York City. Rife with every literary and cinematic cliché, it still manages to charm.

From "Chapter 3: Trust From the Heart":

"So, how does it feel wearing different clothes."

"I wouldn't mind the clothes, these 'sneakers' are more conformable. I mean it, I feel like a girl when I run with my other shoes. Look at me I'm Horatio Hornblower, see me run like a girl!"

Serendipity laughed and looked at Horatio. She knew she was seeing him with a new light.

5 quality fanfics| is it really quality?

"Megans Mirror" [01 Mar 2004|01:02am]

psychicmongoose
When I was a kid, I watched all the My Little Pony Cartoons I could find at the video store. While some aspects of the stories struck me as bizarre and a little sinister, I lacked the imagination of gatomon2004, who has dreamed up a vivid tale of Pony-Friend Megan's "other life."

Social Worker:  *quietly*  I know.  Which must make this all the harder for you,right? To lose another mom,one that you somewhat remember?  Tell me what you remember about your birth mother,if you can.

I....remember that she loved me as much as life itself.  Which seems pretty symbolic,as she was the one who gave me life to begin with,with some help from a man I never knew to be my father,and the man who made my momma and my daddy meet and create me.

Social Worker:  You mean God,don't you?

Yes.


Read here.
is it really quality?

I used a magic cleaning spell and I was clean with an aroma of strawberries. [18 Dec 2003|09:31pm]

prismtrick
Titled "Not another Ginny Sirius love fic," this gem by S.S. Harry is two chapters of pure joy.

These two sentences should describe it all:
Realization struck me. I went back like twenty years!
is it really quality?

[17 Aug 2003|12:21am]

psychicmongoose
Elf at Hogwarts has found a new author! I have not yet read these new offerings, but felt it my duty to alert you all.
is it really quality?

Legolas felt so insecure and being pregnant doesn’t help at all. [22 May 2003|09:52am]

prismtrick
[ mood | grateful ]

“You don’t love him. He has a husband, he’s already married. Do you want to know who you love?” The little voice asked.

“Yeah? Who?” Draco replied silently.

“That raven-haired boy in the corner. The one surrounded by his friends. The one who’s currently crying because of you,” The little voice answered.

Draco looked at the corner and there he saw Harry surrounded by Hermione and Ron and he was indeed, crying.


Elf at Hogwarts has been updated (sort of)!

is it really quality?

"Hermione blinked and watched as a tear fell onto her bloodstained skin..." [19 May 2003|05:51pm]

psychicmongoose
Hermione was separated from the living world and lived in her own, wandering aimlessly like a ghost, who was forbidden to go to heaven and had to stay down on Earth. It had only taken a year’s event, which had jumped from being perfect to, horrendous and all it taken was a year.

Drama! Rape! Madness! Angst! Forbidden love! Erratic punctuation! Find it all in Burden of the Enemy's Baby!
2 quality fanfics| is it really quality?

[10 May 2003|12:33pm]

locy
[ mood | clean ]

Some of you have already seen these, but things at Quality Fanfic have been rather slow lately. (Warning: Actually, Legolas/Gimli is disturbing by default.)

One,
two,
three,
and an entirely unrelated one.

4 quality fanfics| is it really quality?

Two words. [16 Apr 2003|09:57pm]

prismtrick
[ mood | touched ]

Bible fanfic.

1 quality fanfic| is it really quality?

"Laughing laughing laughing brown and egg." [15 Apr 2003|05:13pm]

prismtrick
[ mood | impressed ]

Check out The Immortal Me, a very promising Harry Potter fanfiction. Have not read much, but am enjoying it so far.

2 quality fanfics| is it really quality?

What a delightful work! [12 Apr 2003|08:46pm]

prismtrick
[ mood | delightful ]

Wow.

is it really quality?

I stare down at the letter, the cause of opening healed wounds. [08 Apr 2003|04:58pm]

locy
[ mood | amused ]

Why do people insist upon announcing their flashbacks?

"Even if the Words do not Reach Him"

4 quality fanfics| is it really quality?

"If you want to be a loser and dance at clubs like a whore then fine!" he yelled. [08 Apr 2003|04:58pm]

prismtrick
[ mood | enthralled ]

I plan to read this as soon as my schedule allows! All twenty-eight chapters of it.

2 quality fanfics| is it really quality?

*stifled sob* [28 Mar 2003|07:38pm]

prismtrick
[ mood | crushed ]

Look.

I think I may lock myself in my chamber, take my boots off, and cry for a week.

7 quality fanfics| is it really quality?

Oh ho! [26 Mar 2003|04:34pm]

psychicmongoose
[ mood | obnoxious-smug-procrastinating ]

Apparently, there is another fanfiction appreciation community on LiveJournal. This one has been around longer and has more people in it, but does it have beautiful icons? No! Does it have a small-but-dedicated membership? No! Does it eagerly follow each new chapter of "Elf at Hogwarts?" No!

I think we all know which one is better.

14 quality fanfics| is it really quality?

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